Etiquette is a customary code of polite behaviour in society, including among members of a particular profession or group. The keyword here is polite, meaning even if you’re in a bad mood, you should uphold this behaviour when it’s expected.
We express this politeness through greeting, dressing, social and family structure, romance and marriage, and dining customs. One must know the appropriate acts as one manoeuvres the world, as this can make the difference between personal and professional success.
Greeting is a potential minefield because what is considered polite in one society can be perceived as impolite in another. For example, in Muslim societies, it’s considered impolite for a man to offer his hand to shake a woman whom he doesn’t know or who he’s not related to, even in a business setting. In some societies, looking someone directly in the eye while giving them a firm handshake is considered appropriate, even advised, while in others, people bow and avoid eye contact when shaking hands with someone in a more powerful position.
Dress is a very important part of being polite because it’s what people see first when they see you. School, from the nursery level all the way to the secondary school levels, socialises us to know what to wear in different situations. For example, it is universal that shorts on a man or woman are casual or private and shouldn’t be worn to formal events, unless one is an entertainer, and even then, they should be intentionally put together.
For social and family structures, there are society-wide and private etiquettes. Each family will have etiquette particular to them set by the parents, even though small family members will adhere to the society’s general ones.
Romance and marriage have evolved and stayed the same in certain areas, but younger couples need to know how to navigate older family member dynamics, such as those of their parents and grandparents. Etiquette will show them how to make decisions that will be acceptable to most and also help them see the wisdom in elder advice.
Dining customs are what everyone must know because there will always be a time when one is invited to eat outside of their home. School, from the nursery level to the secondary level, plays a part in teaching this.
Etiquette is important because it fosters respect, strengthens relationships, and creates a more harmonious social and professional environment. By providing a framework for polite and considerate behaviour, etiquette helps prevent conflict, promotes effective communication, and allows individuals to navigate different social situations with confidence.
In social and professional settings, etiquette builds stronger relationships because good manners and respectful behaviour make others feel comfortable, leading to stronger friendships and more positive interactions.
Etiquette prevents conflict: adhering to etiquette norms can prevent misunderstandings and disputes from arising in the first place. For example, my earlier point about handshakes.
Etiquette improves career prospects: in a professional environment, etiquette can improve a person’s reputation, increase their status, and help build a collaborative work atmosphere.
Etiquette boosts confidence because knowing the rules of etiquette can give individuals the confidence to interact with others in various situations, allowing them to focus on the substance of the interaction rather than worrying about their conduct.
On personal development, etiquette promotes empathy by encouraging you to consider the feelings and perspectives of others, helping you to be more thoughtful and less selfish.
Etiquette enhances reputation by helping you make a good impression. Your personal values will be showcased: kindness, consideration, and respect.
Etiquette improves communication by providing a common set of polite behaviours. It breaks down communication barriers and ensures messages are received with the intended respect.
Aderonke Dada is the founder & etiquette teacher of Dawn Etiquette.
